The Game Changers

Diane Edwards: Fighting for fairness in sport

• Sue Anstiss • Season 20 • Episode 7

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Diane Edwards (Modahl) was one of Britain’s brightest middle-distance stars, a Commonwealth gold medallist and four-time Olympian whose remarkable career was thrown into turmoil when she was wrongly accused of doping in 1994. What followed was a devastating two-year battle to clear her name – a fight that cost her financially, emotionally, and professionally – but could not break her spirit.

In this compelling and emotional conversation, Diane shares:

  • Growing up in Manchester as the daughter of Jamaican parents and discovering her talent for athletics
  • The golden years of her career, winning Commonwealth gold and setting a British record over 800m
  • The traumatic moment her life changed forever when she was falsely accused of doping
  • The brutal cost – financially, emotionally, and reputationally – of proving her innocence
  • Why she still hasn’t received an apology from UK Athletics to this day
  • Her remarkable resilience in returning to international competition and representing Great Britain again
  • The powerful work she now leads to create opportunities for young people in sport

This is a story of extraordinary talent, unthinkable injustice, and relentless determination to fight for truth and fairness in sport.

Thank you to Sport England who support The Game Changers Podcast with a National Lottery award.

Find out more about The Game Changers podcast here: https://www.fearlesswomen.co.uk/thegamechangers

Hosted by Sue Anstiss
Produced by Sam Walker, What Goes On Media

A Fearless Women production

Sue Anstiss:

Hello and welcome to The Game Changers. I'm Sue Anstiss and this is the podcast where we meet the fearless women driving change in sport. From breaking records to breaking down barriers, these trailblazers are challenging the status quo for women and girls everywhere. Each episode we dive into powerful conversations that explore not just their incredible journeys but the bigger issues shaping equality in sport and far beyond. A huge thank you to our partners at Sport England who support The Game Changers podcast through a national lottery award.

Sue Anstiss:

My guest today is Diane Edwards (Modhal), a remarkable middle distance runner who represented Great Britain at four Olympics, world Championships and European Championships, while also winning gold, silver and bronze medals at the Commonwealth Games.

Sue Anstiss:

A former British record holder, diane was one of our most celebrated athletes in the 80s and early 90s, admired for her grit, determination and tactical brilliance over 800 metres. But at the height of her career in 1994, Diane's life was turned upside down when she was wrongly accused of doping. Flown home from the Commonwealth Games on the very day she was due to defend her title, Diane became front page news for all the wrong reasons. What followed was a harrowing and protracted battle to clear her name and, despite being exonerated two years later, the cost, emotionally and financially was staggering. Yet, remarkably, Diane returned to international competition, winning Commonwealth Bronze in 98 and going on to represent Team GB once again at the Sydney Olympics in 2000. Today, diane channels her experience using sport as a catalyst to support young people, working with organisations including Greater Manchester Sport England and the Diane Maddow Foundation. So, Diane, you grew up in Manchester, a daughter of Jamaican parents, so tell me a little bit about your early years, what family life was like for you?

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

So I'm one of seven. I'm the youngest of seven kids. I've got two brothers and four sisters, and my parents left everything behind, everything they knew in Jamaica to make a better life for themselves and landed in Mosside, Manchester, which is where I grew up, where my family, a lot of my family, still live. It was a beautiful upbringing. As much as I can remember, it was a family that was full of music, of love, of sport, great food, culture all the things that I think is fairly typical in a Caribbean household.

Sue Anstiss:

And what sort of young girl were you? How would your school friends have described you?

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

Boring.... Absolutely. I was quite quiet because, you know, I had six siblings ahead of me. So by the time I came around, I think I was sort of pretty much left to my own devices. I wasn't popular at all because my sisters and brothers, when they were going out at night to nightclubs when they shouldn't have been going out Mum and dad would come to me and they'd say where are the girls? You know they should have been in by now. And I'd say, oh, they're at the West Indian Centre or they're out so-and-so partying, and they would hate me. But in my mind I was just doing what I was told, which was to tell the truth, you know, but I was not popular. So I was quite boring quiet, yeah, but actually that was okay, that was fine with me.

Sue Anstiss:

And you mentioned kind of sport in family life. So how did sport play a part?

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

Sport played a massive part in our upbringing, and I always say this when I sort of reflect on my childhood. There were three things that were really important growing up Church, so we went to Sunday school every Sunday. Music Anytime you walked into our house, there will be music playing in every single room, including the bathroom. And sport. My only memories of sport was watching it, and my dad would really come alive when he was watching sport and we'd all be huddled around this black and white telly. We'd be watching giant haystacks wrestling, we'd be watching the horse racing, boxing, athletics whatever was on, we would be watching. And so sport clearly sort of was an important part of the culture that I was growing up in, and it really started from there, just planted a seed of excitement, of energy, of drama, and it was all there.

Sue Anstiss:

And how do you feel that upbringing shaped your values and your ambitions as a young woman?

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

young woman, I would say the values that my parents sort of instilled in us were almost lit daily. So I would see my father leaving for work half past four every morning, taking two buses to go to the factory where my dad was a laborer. So he would roll pastry and if he were on this call Sue, he would tell you and me everything there is to know about short crisp pastry, sausage rolls, apple pies all this sort of stuff.

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

He would roll pastry and he did that job for 25 years and his resilience, his commitment, his timekeeping was impeccable. He would come home from work at five o'clock at night, having done the early shift, and get into fixing the car or do something around the home. And the other thing that I remember really well was my mom being highly motivated. She was a nurse. She dedicated 25 years to the NHS and did the tough shifts. Actually, she would work through the night, leave at eight o'clock in the evening and come back at eight o'clock in the morning when we were getting ready for school.

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

And what I learned from those two was hard work, diligence, focus, commitment, enjoy what you do. And so the impression it had on me, subconsciously. I mean, I didn't automatically go out and say I must work hard, I must work hard, but I think it sort of seeps in naturally when you see how hard your parents are working. And I live by those values. Now, I'm not the best time keeper, don't hold me to that, but I do try to be focused and hard working in everything I do.

Sue Anstiss:

Your incredible sporting talent was spotted by a coach from Sale Harriers when you were just 11 years old. So what do you remember around around that time and why athletics that was such a magical time for me.

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

So I went to school in my side it was then called Ducey High School, it's now Manchester Academy and during a PE lesson this volunteer had been invited to come and watch that lesson. And at the end of that lesson I remember we were running on a marked out concrete car park basically it barely was 400 meters and there was a group of us doing this PE lesson and at the end of it Alan Robertshaw, this stranger who I didn't know. He came over to to me and he said and I will always, always remember this he said you've got potential. Would you like to join a running club? And I'm 11 years old, it's my first year in high school, I'm having fun, I'm enjoying myself in this afterschool club.

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

But I wasn't clever. I did not know what potential was, I did not know what a running club was, but I said yes because I didn't want to be embarrassed. And then for seven years, twice a week, every week, alan picked me up from our home, where we lived in Longsight, and drove me to Sail Harriers in Cheshire. And that's where that journey started. And I will forever be grateful to Miss Whittaker, my PE teacher, whose name I just learned recently because I just couldn't remember her name. And, ironically, I met her daughter recently at a networking event and, wow, it was amazing. And Alan Robertshaw indebted for life for that opportunity that they gave me.

Sue Anstiss:

And what was it like at Sail Harriers in the kind of 70s and 80s?

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

Well, what I remember about Sail Harriers then was that it was absolutely fun but it was hard. What I was being asked to do didn't make sense. So I remember turning up at Crossford Bridge where it was a cinder track. Um, I didn't know that, the track was 400 meters and the coach would say, right, we're going to do 600s today and we're going to run as hard as we can, and then you'll stop, and then you'll do it again and I would say to him so where do I start and where do I finish? Not having a clue. And he he'd say you start over there, which was a 200 meter line. You're going to run one full lap, go past that line where you started, and then do another 200 meters.

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

And I think what I learned there was just the ability of compliance. It sounds a bit strange, doesn't it? But doing what I was was told. And so Alan would just break it down for me and help me to understand what was being asked. So it was fun, but it was hard, but I kept coming back. So it actually it worked.

Sue Anstiss:

And 800 meters was your event, sort of a brutal tactical race. It was actually a distance I ran before I moved to Four Hurdles and I realised, as I researched you, we're actually exactly the same age, so we could have been competing at National League. I competed for Feltham Athletic Club at the time and I never made it to the English school, so I wasn't. I think I'd have been about half a lap. 221 was my PB. I'd have been about half a lap behind you. But what do you think it was about the 800 metres? What was it that made you so good at that distance?

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

Yeah, as you say, the 800 meters is brutal because you've got to have the speed of a 400 meter runner and the strength of a miler, which is why it's a middle distance race. And I think when I was little where we used to live in Longside my dad, every summer he used to take me, my brothers, my sisters and eventually the local kids who lived in our neighborhood for relay races on this patch of grass behind our house every summer, and I would always come in last. I never won anything, but it was fun and he was possibly the best coach I ever had, because he understood incentives and there was always an ice cream van waiting for us at the end of the training. It wasn't really training, we were just having relay races.

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

But even though I wasn't winning and I was being consistently beaten, I would always want to do it again and again and again, because I enjoyed what I was doing. And so by the time I sort of understood what the distance was as an 800 meter runner, I would just recall the fact that I was enjoying myself, and so if I kept going, eventually I would become better and I would develop, and that's exactly what happened. So I do credit my dad for those early years of just developing resilience but also creating an environment, without even knowing it, where I felt I belonged. I could do something that I was potentially good at and get a nice scream at the end of it. But you know, as I went through, it was about trying to win and get better.

Sue Anstiss:

Jumping ahead from those early days, in 1990 you won Commonwealth gold in Auckland and you also broke the English record for the 800 meters. So obviously a big year. But what did it mean to you and your family as well, I guess, your mum and dad in becoming that, getting that British record for you?

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

Oh, it was an incredible year. Before winning that gold medal. I remember sitting in the stadium listening to anthems of other countries being knocked out in the semifinals, not making it to the final and then not even winning a medal. So it was tough, and so, by the time I won that gold medal in Auckland, new Zealand, it was a huge sense of relief initially that finally, finally, this potential that I'd been told I had was realized. But it was also a moment of pride for my family mom, dad, brothers, sisters, my coach at that time, norman Poole. It was an incredible feeling of pride, but also emotion, that the hard work, the many, many years of hard work, paid off and it was just amazing.

Sue Anstiss:

And you went unbeaten by any British woman for six seasons, which just feels incredible to sustain that level of performance. So for you personally, where is that balance between the physical training and that mental discipline, the two combined, the balance for me was learnt, I think, over the years, because we often hear of burnout, don't we?

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

and we tend to think burnout can be physical. Uh, you know, you're so fatigued you come to do a session. You've got absolutely nothing left and you'll remember that you, you know, you don't forget where you go to set off and do a session and you know immediately your body is saying not today. But I think there's also the mental burnout of expectation, of pressure, of being on this roller coaster, of wanting to be the very best that you can be, but actually there are barriers that stop you from doing that, whether it's finance, whether it's yourself doubting yourself and a lack of confidence. But I think, maturity and learning over the years, that balance of if you're tired and you know you are, respect that, listen to your body and just don't go to train that day, but mentally having and being surrounded by people who love you, who give you that platform of foundation on which to build these dreams, and being able to be vulnerable around those people who love you and just letting it go. Just let go and, you know, prepare for the next day.

Sue Anstiss:

Oh, I feel like I've had a. That's a wonderful coaching in itself there. Today we're seeing a little bit of a golden era again for British middle-eastern women, with the likes of Georgia Hunter-Bell, kee Hildreth Jensen and Laura Muir and others. So why do you think that is? Does it come in these kind of phases of athletes inspiring others? What do you think has made that happen now?

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

inspiring others, or what do you think's made that happen? Now I think it does go in cycles. You know, sue, because I remember the generation that I belonged was also a golden generation of athletics. So I was part of the generation where we had Sally Gunnell, colin Jackson, linford Christie was our team captain, yvonne Murray, niswa Colgan, chris Akabusi, derek Redman I say these names and for me at least, it just brings back those golden memories of that generation where Team GB in England were powerhouse.

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

We were to be feared because every time we touched the track we were consistent in our performances. And I think we have come a generation again where we now understand what it means to win, what it takes to win. I think the support is there now. Athletes understand that. You know they have potential, absolutely. But it takes a lot of hard work, consistency, to get there. But I also think athletes are supported in a good way. They there are run clubs now they can be supported financially. The technology's there, we're going to see faster times athletes continuing their careers for longer, and that's good, that's positive yeah, so positive, isn't you?

Sue Anstiss:

it's kind of remarkable when you reflect that you went to four olympic games and I was wondering, as an athlete, do they feel very different? Or once you're there and you're on the track, or in the warmer period, do they feel much the same? When you're there to perform, they never feel the same.

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

Actually, they all feel very, very different, and the first one for me was 1988 in Seoul, south Korea, and undoubtedly that was the best one, because that was the dream to get to an Olympic Games. And so, when I did, nothing was ever going to top that and, to be fair, I was probably in the best shape of my Olympic cycle that I was in for the latter three and the second one, in Barcelona, I had a stress fracture coming into. That Didn't go very well at all. 96 was really a comeback year after what had been a very difficult couple of years for me, and then Sydney again injured hamstring issues. So yeah, they're all very different, but the meaning, the commonality between all four is just the ability to compete with the best athletes in the world and try and do your best whilst I was there.

Sue Anstiss:

And you mentioned there a kind of difficult couple of years. If you're happy to talk about that, and you mentioned there a kind of difficult couple of years, if you're happy to talk about that and I alluded to it in the introduction there that 1994, the have known what, what happened there. So can you kind of talk us through, tell us a little bit about what happened on the?

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

24th of August 1994 was the day that my life changed forever and still impacts on my life and forever will. I was Victoria, canada, to defend my Commonwealth title. I had won gold four years previously. I was in the best shape of my life, I was the favorite to win and I was excited. And I remember waking up that morning and it was a typical morning in the sense of typical morning, in the sense of I would start my morning by going for a warm-up, run through my warm-up, do a couple of miles, some stretching, some drills, and put myself in a space of preparedness to start the competition. And that's what I did. The sun was shining, the sky was blue and everything was aligned, beautiful day, perfect for running fast times. And I was on my way back into the Commonwealth Games village and before I got to my room I was stopped by a team official, sue Deaves.

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

I've known Sue since I was 15, for as long as I've been competing for England, and she said Diane, I need to have a word with you, I need to have a conversation with you. And I remember saying to Sue not now, I've just come back from my warmup, I need to prepare for my competition. And she said no, I actually do need to speak to you, diane, but at this time I had my focus head on. I was in my tunnel vision. I knew what my routine was. I wanted to sort of stick to that, but she was really insistent, bizarrely, weirdly. And I went into her room unwillingly and she did something really unexpected. She held my hands and she looked directly into my eyes and she said Diane, a drug test you gave nine weeks ago has tested positive. And I remember looking back at Sue and saying I've got to go, I've got to prepare for my race. You've got the wrong athlete.

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

And we went back and forth, me insisting she's got the wrong athlete, sue still holding my hand, saying Diane, you know I've seen the information, but it wasn't until she said in the sternest of voices, she said no, diane, I have to pull you out. That I realized it wasn't a mistake. She was talking to me and I remember just waking up on the floor, sue looking over me, patting my face, saying breathe, diane, breathe, you must breathe. And I don't know what happened in the meantime, but I remember I was lying on the floor, somebody raised my legs onto the bed, doctor came in and they were having this conversation above my head. I couldn't even understand or comprehend what was going on. I was sedated with Valium and the next thing I knew I was on an aeroplane heading back to Heathrow. I wasn't able to go back to my room, I didn't pack my own clothes, I was taken into an official's room, and that was the start of a nightmare.

Sue Anstiss:

And you were sedated because of the shock and the impact of it on your body.

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

Of hearing that news, I believe I was sedated because they were severely worried about how I was reacting. I fainted, I lost consciousness a number of times and I think they were trying to just maintain a level of calm. My blood pressure I was dropping in and out of consciousness and I think there was a decision made in order to get Diane home safely. We need to do that, and I was sent home with a nurse who had Valium with her in case I needed more, and we sat. I don't know how long the journey is from Canada to Heathrow, but we sat in silence. I'd lost my ability to speak. The nurse was very kind and calming and we arrived home.

Sue Anstiss:

And the headlines at the time were completely brutal. I remember reading them and seeing it on TV, but the pressure you must have been under it's just hard to even conceive, isn't it? I read your book in preparation for talking to you the Dime-a-Dile Story and I just hadn't realised what you'd been through. Anyway, for me it was not a revelation because you realise how awful it must have been. But I think just reading it and you're kind of sharing the other side of it almost, rather than the public seeing it. So how did you even begin to kind of cope with that trauma and that feeling of isolation? I just can't even imagine when everyone turns against you in the media and the sport, but knowing that you're innocent, you know it is hard to even get your head around that.

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

Yeah, how do I cope with that? I think with family and with love, because, to be fair, I wasn't a Diana I'm speaking to now. I was almost in a trance, in a daze, and my husband at the time, vicente, was a powerhouse of support, of strength, and it came at a huge cost to him. But I remember I just wanted to understand what was actually happening because I knew I wasn't a chief, I knew I hadn't taken drugs and I was trying to understand what happened between the lawyer and my husband, who were having conversations and trying to map out where do we go from here? And I think the way I survived it and continue to survive every day is quite simple. Really, it's through the love of my family.

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

When we landed in Heathrow, I was taken straight away to a hospital and they did a number of checks to make sure I was able to be stable. And when I was able to leave the hospital, we weren't able to go home because the press had landed on our house. They had set up cameras there and my sister said look, you've got to come and stay with me. My sister Barbara, I think she put up with me for a good month or so. We just couldn't go home and she just looked after me and took care of me and us.

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

But then, as my strength came back and my voice started to regain a little bit, I had actually written notes. I'd written everything that I could remember about how I was feeling and I allowed the lawyer, tony Morton Hooper, at Mishkonderweire, to help me put into a plan what needed to happen. So he was saying to me just tell us everything you remember from that race in Portugal and devise this witness statement. And as we were piecing the bits together, we were then able to understand exactly what happened to that sample.

Sue Anstiss:

But it was with, I think, love and strength that I was able to survive that time, because there were times when I didn't think I would make it and you mentioned there your lawyer, but the lawyers and the scientists I'm excited again in reading more about you and looking back at the lawyers and the scientists. Like I say again, in reading more about you and looking back at the history of it all, just the depth of investment that they made into disproving this and doing more research to kind of overturn the initial decision, because it wasn't as if it was just once and immediately it was overturned. It was a very long kind of battle that went on and I think that for me that felt positive piece from this hideous story was how that commitment of those individuals to support you and to really get to the bottom of it and uncover what had happened.

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

What we learned was, when I gave the sample after that competition in Portugal, the alkalinity of the sample was tested, which is typical, and the alkalinity or the pH level of that sample was measured at around about seven.

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

But then, when it was reopened and tested in the laboratory, it had risen tenfold, an incredible lift in alkalinity to almost 10. So if you're a non-scientist it doesn't really mean anything. But what the scientists were able to understand was a sample that has been degraded to that level means that somehow bacteria or another material change has happened to that sample to give rise to that level of alkalinity in the sample. And so we were able to then backtrack and understand what actually happened to this sample, from the time I gave it to the time it was opened and tested in the laboratory. And what the scientists, with their diligence and real patience and unwillingness not to give up, was to understand that the sample was left on a windowsill in a laboratory in Portugal in the middle of July, in the height of the summer, for 72 hours, and that meant that the sample had become materially degraded with bacteria. And so, armed with that evidence and with scientific evidence, we went to the initial hearing in December in 1994 and what they said to us at the hearing was an unreliable sample can give rise to an unreliable result. And we said yes, exactly. And they said no, that's unheard of. Dope testing has been in existence for 30 years. We've never heard anything like it. Go away, go ahead and prove it. Way, go ahead and prove it. And whilst they said that I was at that time found guilty of a doping offence, banned for life, for ever, competing in an Olympic Games they were the headlines. She took the mick out of us. She knew exactly what she was doing and we were devastated.

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

It was just such a difficult period because we knew, and what the scientists knew was that the evidence was on our side. And that's exactly what we had to do. We had to go out and prove that this sample, any sample that's left degraded, can give rise to a false positive, and in my case it was testosterone. So what the scientists did was they took a sample from me. They took a sample from a professional marathon runner and a professional tennis player. They were able to degrade all three samples to the same level that my sample was degraded in that Lisbon laboratory. We trained to a level of fatigue, so similar amounts of training that I was doing in the buildup to that race. Tennis player did the same, marathon runner did the same. We tried to replicate everything that could give us a sense of what could have happened to that sample.

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

And guess what happened? All three samples gave rise to a false positive test of testosterone, and so it was a hollow victory. But what it meant was I was vindicated at the appeal and received an apology from the International Athletic Federation. But still, to this day, I've never received an apology from British athletics, uk athletics, and it's devastating because I've never recognized the damage, the hurt, the harm that they have caused and put me in my family.

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

Do you think that will ever come? Do you think in your lifetime that will come? Will take ownership, will take responsibility for the role they played in devastating my career, my reputation, my finance? Not necessarily the people who are in position now, because there's been a huge change, but the organization is the same and I think it's waiting for someone brave enough, honest enough, with integrity, to say what we did was wrong. And we recognize that Diane did her part as an ambassador, as an advocate for this sport, for this country, and we're going to recognise that, certainly with an apology. So I remain hopeful, sue, but I don't wake up every day thinking is today the day? Because I don't know. I don't know whether it will ever come.

Sue Anstiss:

And do you think that doesn't happen? Because they worry that it's admitting a financial liability? If they say sorry, are they admitting they did it wrong Because you lost so much money, didn't you, in terms of fighting that battle. And we've talked about the amazing scientists and lawyers, but they don't come cheaply to have that much time and investment to really dig, because a lot of the research you had to get out and have done because it hadn't been done in the past. So I think you lost your house. You had to remortgage your home. I mean personally, the financial impact of that must still reverberate with you today.

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

We lost everything. The case over two years and our fight for compensation cost us half a million pounds. Do I look like a millionaire to you? You know, in all honesty, it was devastating. It crippled us financially and whilst emotionally it will always be difficult for me to put into words the cost of that, financially there was a cost to it and I think you're right.

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

I think there's two elements why I may never get that apology. One is fear of a compensation claim and the other is a recognition that they were wrong and they caused real harm. But you know, when we talk about being human, I think there is a human response to this and they would never, ever be looked upon as inadequate or vulnerable if they were able to do the right thing by recognizing the wrong, the harm that they caused, because that's a human thing to do and it's the right thing to do. And it would make an enormous difference to me as a human being, as a woman, as a mom, to be able to live my life knowing that everything we said all along, that I was not a drug chief, but to have that recognition would be worth so much to me.

Sue Anstiss:

And there was what really surprised me, I think, in reading more into it, was this onus on you as the athlete, to go out and pay for the research to find it, rather than that presumption of innocence until it is proven. So do you feel that sports governance and those anti-doping systems are better today in terms of protecting athletes? Could what happened to you happen to another athlete today?

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

I'm not convinced that what happened to me couldn't happen to another athlete today.

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

I'm not that close to the dot testing system as I once was, but I do know that actually, as a result of the fight and the personal cost to me, dot testing was forever changed.

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

So chain of custody became even more important. So chain of custody is how samples are collected, how samples are collected, how they are stored, where and when. That changed, as did the way samples were tested in terms of the alkalinity and the reliability of that sample once it's opened. So I'm not saying that it was worth going through all of what myself and my family went through to change a dope testing system, but I don't know whether the World Anti-Doping System and the organization truly understand the impact of the decisions that they make on athletes. Now I'm not saying that there are not people who cheat, but what I am saying is, if you are innocent and you are caught in this web of saving the system as opposed to recognizing justice, then the dope testing system doesn't stand for anything, because unless there is integrity in the system, there's no integrity at all, and I am living proof that the system will go out of its way to back itself rather than do what's right.

Sue Anstiss:

And you mentioned you were pregnant through some of the kind of darkest time of that ordeal. So how did pregnancy and then motherhood impact your perspective and also your, your strength? I mean, I just feel so many athletes might have walked away, might have kind of throw their hands up and said that's that, even knowing that they were innocent, but to keep on fighting. So did motherhood and becoming a mother impact that in a positive way?

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

If I didn't become a mother. I don't think I'll be talking to you today. Dimani, our daughter, was our hope. She kept me going and whilst I was pregnant, we were going to a court battle with the high courts trying to claim compensation, and it was rough being embroiled in the court system. You're a commodity. They don't care how you feel, how you think, what you're fighting for, what your future looks like. You are and I was a commodity.

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

And having this baby, this tiny baby growing inside me, where listen? Sometimes I would wake up and I just wouldn't leave the bedroom, I wouldn't leave the house for weeks and weeks and weeks. I wouldn't do any of the basic necessity of things because I was done and I just didn't want to carry on. But Imani was our hope and continues to be our hope. She's an amazing daughter. She's incredible. I'm so proud of her. How old is she now? So Imani's 29 now and she is ironically, she's going to kill me for saying this, but she's head of legal services at wrecks and football club and doing wonderful things there for that club. And we have two of the children as well. If I don't mention them, they'll kill me as well. So georgia is the youngest and she is 17 and at college and gisela is the middle child at 18 and, you know, got a job and doing amazing things, but they are my hope.

Sue Anstiss:

I'm so blessed to have these girls in my life and, uh, yeah, yeah and what do they know about that kind of period in your life and how that's impacted you? I'm and I don't imagine you haven't shared everything with them, but it must have impacted them too to know, I think, about my own kids and how they would feel about an injustice done to me or, you know, my husband they were so young I mean, the latter two were not even born.

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

Georgia and Gisela were not even born when we were enduring this, imani grew up with it so, even though she was a tiny baby, I came back to sport after Imani was born, and so she grew up around two potentially very angry, angry, bitter, determined parents, but also, I think, two parents who were trying to get back on track and do what we loved. But they don't really, if they do know anything, understand, I think, the extent to which it shaped who we became and how then it affected them. But the reality is it did happen. It continues to impact and, to be fair, the things that I had to endure because of that shape who I am today and help me in my decision making today.

Sue Anstiss:

Have you forgiven the people that were involved? I was interested from your young family life and the importance of religion and God and faith and how that was impacted. Actually, it's beautiful. I've referred a lot to your book, haven't you? I was very moved by your book, but at the end of your book, almost that questioning of why has this been put in my path and the fact that you have had to endure so much. Yes, I guess, going back to my question, but in terms of forgiveness and moving on, where do you feel for the people that were involved?

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

I can't forgive them. I can't, I can't. I think they robbed so much from me, from us, and I just can't find it in myself to forgive them. And that doesn't mean that I don't live a positive, happy, productive life, which I do. But for me to forgive them would mean I've given up on the hope of them, recognizing the harm that they caused. But it would also mean giving up part of me and the damage that that caused, and I'm not going to do that.

Sue Anstiss:

And I'll move on to more positive feelings of life and where we are today. You've held some incredible leadership roles with Sport England, Commonwealth Games England. You do a lot of work with Greater Manchester and the Young Persons Taskforce. So what's driven your work in those spaces and the impact you're having there. My purpose.

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

I think I'm driven by wanting to provide an opportunity where there is no opportunity, and that goes all the way back to that 11-year-old girl. So a chance meeting with a stranger, with this volunteer, you gave me an opportunity to weave out something that I didn't even know I had. What was this thing called potential? I was just having fun. So I think what I know now and I didn't really know it until recently really but when I reflect on my career, every decision or every role that I've taken on has been around opportunity, and so my work with Andy Burnham in the Greater Manchester Combined Authority is around leadership. It's about how do we create more and better environment for underrepresented groups, women coming from an ethnic background. How do we create more opportunities for them and us to influence the agenda, to be part of the decision-making structure, which is great and that's really good fun.

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

My role at Sport England again very similar I'm head of inclusion England Talent Pathway. So that's about ensuring that the teams and the athletes that represent England and Great Britain are representative of the nation. Do we recognize ourselves, do we recognize their stories? Do we recognize our circumstances as we watch the Lionesses or as we watch our relay teams or our boxers, whatever it is. So my role is again working alongside national governing bodies and organisations, charities, to provide opportunities for people to thrive and to be the very best that they can be, and I love it.

Sue Anstiss:

I had a lovely quote from you where you talked about the fact that talent is everywhere, but opportunities aren't. It just really resonated with me so clearly. That does excite you to know that you're able to do that for so many young people.

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

Yeah, you're right. I tend to think about and enter any opportunity that I go into with, not what is the lack, but where is the opportunity. Because you know, talent is everywhere, potential is everywhere. But how do we create the opportunity for people to access what they need in order to become the best that they can be? And you know we will have heard of that saying you can't see it, you can't be it Absolutely right, but you also need to tag on to that statement. How do you create an opportunity to be it, to become it, to fulfill that dream? And I feel that I have a responsibility to do that.

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

My early coach, alan Robertshaw, who told me I had potential, that's exactly what he was doing. He was breaking down barriers for myself and other young athletes who he recognized and identified to have an opportunity to fulfill that potential. If he had said to me, diane, you've got potential, full stop, that doesn't take my potential or others anywhere. So it's about the opportunity and creating a pathway for that opportunity to thrive, and I feel I have an opportunity and a responsibility to do that.

Sue Anstiss:

And, looking back, what do you feel most proud of as an athlete and, obviously, mentor and a leader? And I might take the mother part out because I think as mothers, we can all be proud as mothers, can't we? But from a career perspective, what brings you most pride?

Diane Edwards (Modhal):

I don't know if this is going to answer your question, but I'll give it a go. The thing that I feel most proud about is having two parents who came from Jamaica and demonstrated to me with their actions what true leadership looks like. They made tough decisions, they followed through on their commitment and they worked hard. So anything that I say to you and everything that I've said to you in this conversation is irrelevant without basing it on that foundation, and what they taught me was so much that drove me to be the person I am, and so what I'm most proud of is just being able to be surrounded by people who I continue to learn from professionally within my family and to be inspired by, and with those things, whether you're a leader or a runner or a mom, whatever it is, you can achieve whatever it is you want, just surrounded by energy that is positive and allows you to be a true self.

Sue Anstiss:

Thank you to Diane for being so open and sharing her story, and what a privilege it was for me to talk to her for the podcast, especially as I've been such a huge fan of her as an athlete in the 80s and 90s. If you'd like to hear from other trailblazing Olympic athletes, my previous guests have included the likes of Jess Ennis-Hill, denise Lewis, jeanette Kwache and Katerina Johnson-Thompson. In fact, there are over 200 episodes of the Game Changers that are all free to listen to on podcast platforms or from our website at fearlesswomencouk. Guests include elite athletes like those, along with coaches, entrepreneurs, broadcasters, scientists, journalists and CEOs all women who are changing the game in sport. As well as listening to all the podcasts on the website, you can also find out more about the Women's Sport Collective, a free, inclusive community for all women working in sport. We now have over 13,000 members across the world, so please do come and join us.

Sue Anstiss:

The whole of my book Game On the Unstoppable Rise of Women's Sport is also free to listen to on the podcast. Every episode of Series 13 is me reading a chapter of the book. Thank you once again to Sport England for backing the Game Changers and the Women's Sport Collective with a National Lottery Award and to Sam Walker at what Goes On Media, who does such a brilliant job as our Executive Producer. Thank you also to my fantastic colleague at fearless women, Kate Hannon. You can find the game changers on all podcast platforms, so please do follow us now and you won't miss out on future episodes. Do come and say hello on social media, where you'll find me on linkedin and instagram at sue anstis, the the game changes Fearless women in sport.

People on this episode

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Sue Anstiss

Host
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Sam Walker

Producer